Chapter Text
He wakes up in a stiff bed, the smell of cleanliness filling his nose and he can feel the pressure of his arm being in a cast. An IV still in his arm and his uncomfortable.
“Hey you're up”
“No, I’m not. Get f*cked” Merlin slurs. opening his eyes and he sees he's in his own room. Which is odd. He only had public health care. He should at least have some other unhealthy codger next to him. Whining and snapping at the nurses.
Only to hear a laugh. That beautiful stupid laugh that had him screaming internally. It was one of the few sounds he had never been able to forget. He had forgotten Gwen’s voice. He had forgotten Gwaine’s laughter. He had forgotten the smell of Gaius’ workshop but this sound, he had never forgotten.
It was too precious to him.
“I see your wit is still there...I’ll get the doctor for you”
“I’m a nurse. Give me the chart...chart!” Merlin says impatiently when Arthur stares at him dubiously.
But Arthur gives him the chart from the end of his bed and Merlin reads over it. It wasn’t anything he’d need surgery for. It was just a clean break that could be set with a cast for a few months....and a little magic when everybody finally left him alone. He was mostly just tired and drugged.
And for the first time in a while...he doesn’t want to be drugged. He had for the last 2 decades been sinking himself into drugs and alcohol to keep his pain away but suddenly. Arthur was here and he didn’t want it. He didn’t want the buzz cause his magic was buzzing for him. It was practically calling out Arthur’s name.
“So you dying?” Comes that persistent buzzing that is Arthur Pendragon.
“No. I’ll live why are you still here....it’s 7 am holy sh*t. Ok, really why are you still here?” Merlin asks catching his watch out of the corner of his eye.
“Because every time I tried to leave you started throwing a bitch fit, how you even knew I was leaving with how sedated they had you was weird though” Arthur shrugged.
Merlin’s face flushed against his will.
"I’m sorry for keeping you from your friends and I’m sure you have work. I should talk to that doctor about getting out of here” Merlin murmurs.
“It’s ok. I didn’t mind. I already told Dad I wouldn’t be in today”
“Uther Pendragon” Merlin huffs before he can stop himself.
“Yeah, that’s him. He runs Camelot, a giant hotel chain. We have 62 different hotels all over the world”
“Urg...right,” Merlin mutters, throwing the chart aside and he moves to sit up. Making sure not to put pressure on his bad arm. Smiling when he sees the cast is covered in Camelot red.
“I just picked a colour. I hope you like red” Arthur shrugs. Looking a little sheepish.
“It’s one of my favourites” Merlin promises, reaching out for the gloves above his bed and spelling open the locked drawer that holds the band-aids. Making sure to keep his eyes down so Arthur doesn’t see his eyes flash gold.
With a little manoeuvring, he manages to get the glove on. Ripping open the wipe with his teeth.
“What the hell are you doing? You're going to get hurt!” Arthur says trying to stop him.
“Nurse remember. I do this about 40 times a day. Just jam that band-aid over it when I pull this out” Merlin orders.
“So you keep saying. Are you sure? I don’t want you to be hurt further...or get yelled at by that Doctor again he was scary” Arthur whispers as Merlin peels off the translucent stuff sticking down the needle in his arm.
“Just open the band-aid you pain in the ass.” Merlin snaps, pulling out the cannula. Arthur quickly pressed the bandage into place.
“They better not have cut up my jacket. I had to save up months for that one” He mutters.
“No. They didn’t. Your clothes are all here but please. Just wait for the doctor” Arthur says.
And Merlin is sent reeling. When the hell did Arthur Pendragon say please?
“Fine...” Merlin pouts softly and Arthur grins like he won a jousting match.
Merlin all bout falls off the bed when the doctor walks into the room and he knows that arched eyebrow. He knows those deep-set eyes. Gaius. It’s Gaius.
“I’m sorry I tried to stop him but he was being a stubborn ass,” Arthur mutters when Gaius raises that eyebrow to see Merlin’s pulled out his cannula.
“Yes. That’s Merlin for you. His one of the most stubborn nurses we have in the hospital. He’s normally pissed off one doctor or another. I thankfully have never had the chance to be on the bad side of a very ticked-off Mr Emrys” Gaius chuckles softly.
He had been here. This whole time. He had been here. Right within Merlin’s grasp and Merlin didn’t even know. He didn’t know that Gaius worked in the same hospital as him. He had missed out on potential years of knowing Gaius in this life and then he feels the anger and bitterness take hold. Making him angry again. Angry at magic, at fate. At whatever bullsh*t punishment this was.
“It’s my job to keep you lot and your stupid decisions in line or else this hospital will fall into chaos. Let me go change into my scrubs and I’ll get to work” Merlin mutters. Wanting to distract himself from the fact that Gaius had been here the whole time.
“Mr Emrys you know you’ll be off work for at least two weeks and then reduced work when you come back”
“Like hell, I will. I have patients to see” Merlin huffs standing up, only to immediately careen forward.
Gods above what had he been given to keep him heady and out of it. He knew he was clumsy but this was bullsh*t.
Arthur gently catches him.
“Fiery as ever I see but doctors orders and when you do come back you’ll be working under my rotation so I can make sure you don’t go doing something stupid” Gaius says.
“What’s your name?” Merlin asks.
“What do you think it is Merlin?”
“Gaius” Merlin says softly. Waiting for this Gaius look at him and laugh and say his name was Edward or Felix.
“So you do remember me then, we’ve talked a few times in the break room,” Gaius says softly.
They had? When?
It doesn’t matter Merlin guesses.
“Should he stay the day if he’s still so faint?” Arthur says getting Merlin to sit down again. Merlin was irritated at the hospital gown his in, at least grateful he's got his own underwear on or he’d scream.
“I am not bloody staying here you git. I am going home.”
“He is right to go if he wishes since he’s already got himself all ready. If you’ll be so kind as to help him out though in the next few weeks. He's a stubborn mule. Always has been” Gaius asks Arthur.
“We only just met last night. He’s not looking after me. I will be fine on my own and I’ll be back to work in a week” Merlin grumbles.
“He said on your intake forms he was your partner...” Gaius says flippantly and Merlin wants to pull out his hair.
“Well, he's a bloody liar.” Merlin snaps and he has to stop his magic from lashing out. Curling his arms around his body, bringing his knees up to his chest. Trying to even out his breathing before he accidentally turns Arthur into a pig or something equally uiting for the blond idiot.
“You didn’t have good insurance. So I put my name down for you” Arthur says.
“Shut up. Just...Give me...a minute” Merlin mutters.
Refusing to open his eyes, knowing that familiar feeling in them. That warmth of his golden iris.
“Gaius what is it?... Is he gonna be alright?” Arthur’s voice is distressed and that makes Merlin’s magic flare up more. Tears starting to sting his eyes.
He had remembered those words. Is he gonna be alright? What is it? That’s not particularly friendly.
He had been only partially unconscious after drinking the poison for Arthur and he had heard every word between his father figure and his two friends.
“This way come on. Let’s give him some space” Gaius murmurs and two pairs of footsteps leave the room.
Merlin was so tired, he was sore, and he was bitterly angry at the world. Why did everybody else get to reincarnate? Oh Gods...what if Morgana was still alive? Mordred?! Merlin can’t go through that again. He can’t. He doesn’t know how long he sits there. In this empty quiet room.
Before he can help it. His magic hits its breaking point and he lets out a strangled scream as everything in the room floats, including the bed his sitting on before slamming back down with a startling velocity. Merlin’s arm jolted with pain.
“Holy sh*t!” A voice says and Merlin opens his eyes to see Arthur standing there.
Merlin can’t help the laugh that comes from him. It bubbles from his throat. Once more dissolving into hysterics as he had the night before. It comes hard and fast as tears stream down his face. Especially as he watches Arthur automatically reach for a sword that is no longer there. That hadn’t been for centuries.
“You’re magic” Arthur whispers, hands instead falling by his side.
“Something like that” Merlin finds himself saying, his voice hoarse.
“I heard your scream so I came running. Wasn’t expecting to see everything...floating” Arthur says.
“Gods this is so f*cked. This isn’t how any of this was supposed to go! This is...Just help me get dressed. I wanna go home” Merlin’s voice is pitiful. It’s ragged and broken down. He hadn't wanted to go through this again. Admitting to the man he loved he had magic and knew that man would look at him with nothing but loathing.
Reaching for his pile of clothing. Knowing he could probably spell them on but right now he doesn’t trust his magic. He hadn’t had an outburst like that for at least a century.
He almost expects Arthur to bring up the same point but the man is closing the door and reaching out gently. Grabbing Merlin’s good arm.
“Hey look at me please...” His voice is soft. So soft. It’s the same voice he had used when Merlin was dying from the Dorocha. That soft Trust me tone.
“I was born with it. I wasn’t...I was born Magic” Merlin whispers.
“Someone’s hurt you before with this, haven’t they? They found out and didn’t like it?” Arthur says softly.
“So many people hate the idea of it. Y....” Merlin stops himself. He refuses to tell Arthur that he is the Arthur. He’s not sure if that’s his place. He hasn't been sure of his place since the minute Arthur left his side.
“I think it’s cool. I’ve always loved the idea of it. Growing up...I’d make my nanny watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks with me over and over again” Arthur says softly.
“Of course, you had a Nanny” Merlin mutters, voice still shaking. Trying so hard to forget those words of Arthur dying but begging Merlin to leave him alone. Begging the wicked sorcerer to leave him be.
“She was the first person who loved me...Merlin, has anybody ever accepted this?” Arthur asks.
“A few here and there but...they’re all gone now” Merlin is honest. He means it. They might have reborn but they held different lives.
Arthur while still being...Arthur this time around it seems loved Magic. Well, the magic in the books and the movie screens.
The last thing Merlin expects is to be dragged into a hug. It’s tight and soft and...and it’s comforting.
Merlin ducked his head into the crook of Arthur’s neck
“Please don’t tell anybody else. Please.” Merlin begs.
“You’re secret is safe with me” Arthur promises and Merlin knows he means it. Knows that a Pendragon oath is an oath that can be only broken under strict guidelines.
“Did your Mother call you Merlin 'cause you were born this way?” Arthur asks softly.
“No, the bird story was true. They were her favourites” Merlin mutters.
“They’re mine too. Honestly. Always been amazed by them.” Arthur says pulling back but he doesn’t go far. He just grabs Merlin’s band t-shirt and Merlin stands. Allowing Arthur to rub a a hand through his hospital gown laces and he can’t help the giggle that falls from him.
That THE great Arthur Pendragon. The Once and Future King was undressing his manservant. His hands weren’t as calloused as they had been in his old life but there was still some there as he brushes them down Merlin’s back.
They have an indignant fight with the cast and the sleeve of the hospital gown, both of them laughing but eventually Arthur wrestles the beast off him and then he dresses Merlin with great care.
“When did you eat last? Your pants look like their about to fall off” Arthur has genuine worry in his voice.
“I could eat a whole boar and still remain the same...the person I loved...I don’t think he meant to but he gave me an order and I could do nothing but follow it. I must never change, I must always just be me” Merlin explains.
“Does that involve being a little sh*t that likes menacing my men?” Arthur teases.
“It was the kindest order he ever gave me” Merlin murmurs.
“Order. You make it sound as if he was your boss” Arthur questions both of them realising that Arthur won’t fit Merlin’s jacket sleeve over his cast.
“He was. He never knew I loved him...” Merlin speaks up gently as Arthur grabs his own blazer and slides it up Merlin’s arms. It fits over his cast. It enveloped him like a soft blanket and it smelled so softly of Arthur. That had always been Merlin's favourite part of the laundry. The soft scent of freshly laundered clothes that despite everything still smelt like Arthur. Of bark and nature. For a king...he had always smelt down to earth.
A look of sadness falls upon Arthur’s face.
“Then he was an idiot for not being able to see it. Let’s get you home.” Arthur suggests.
“He already had his person. I was just happy being his friend” Merlin insists.
Arthur doesn’t say anything else on the topic instead he waits quietly as Merlin signs his discharge forms and then they're heading out into the brisk air. He bats away Merlin’s good hand when Merlin tries to pay the taxi driver, instead handing over cash of his own.
His phone rings just as they get up to Merlin’s house. It was just a single-story, brickwork. It looked like every other house along the street but it worked.
After Leon...well Merlin had only stopped by the house for just a second to gather his most important items before Aithusa had dropped him in the middle of Scotland and here Merlin had stayed.
“Hello, Father. I’m fine. A friend got hurt. He didn’t have good insurance...Well, I don’t bloody care. I’ll be spending the rest of the day looking after him and you can take it out of my pay for all I care” Arthur snaps hanging up the phone and Merlin grimaces. He’s not surprised that Uther hadn’t changed.
Merlin finally finds the right key and he’s letting them in. Flicking his hand to start the candles. He had never quite gotten used to modern lighting. It was too bright. So he had stuck to candles and dim lightning where he could.
“Cosy” Arthur comments.
“Hmm” Merlin murmurs, not having anything else to say.
Arthur gets a few more calls over the next hour as Merlin brews them both a pot of tea. Apologising for not having coffee but he had never taken to the dark dirt like drink. He much preferred his herbal teas.
“Yes, his fine. God you lot need to really just sit down and talk to each other. I’ve already told Gwaine and Lance. The doctor asked someone to stay with him so he doesn’t do something stupid. He’s apparently very stubborn and doesn’t take care of himself when he's hurt”
“I do I just don’t see the point all the time” Merlin shrugs.
“Yeah, 'cause that’s healthy. I know Perc. I’ll try my best to wrangle him into following orders” Arthur says before he finally hangs up.
“What’s with the smirk” Arthur grumbles at him but it’s light. There’s a lilt at the corner of his mouth.
“I’ve never been good at following orders. Rather the opposite actually”
“And they let you become a nurse. Dear Lord. I fear for your patients”
“My patients are the best looked after thank you” Merlin quips in return.
“Do you...use...uh” Arthur wiggles his fingers at him. His other hand grasped firmly around one of Merlin’s tea cups. It looks too small in Arthur’s hand.
“When necessary, for their comfort. To ease their pain. To...soothe those at the end of their lives. My magic isn’t evil” Merlin doesn’t mean to get defensive. He’s just so used to it.
“I didn’t think it was. Look you might be a bit of a ponce but I don’t think you’re a bad guy Merlin. I think despite everything you’ve been through. You deserve to be a little angry”
“You don’t even know what I’ve been through” Merlin grumbles.
“I can see it in your eyes and you said it yourself. Everybody who knows you have magic and who loved you for it is gone. Losing my mother destroyed my father. He was never the same and his still closed off. I think sometimes he blames me for her death you know...but I had my friends, even if I want to strangle Gwaine sometimes. What about your Merlin?...got any mates lying around?” Arthur’s voice has that gentleness to it again. Like he’s speaking from his soul and not just muttering nonsense from his brain like he uselessly did.
Merlin shakes his head.
“How long have you been alone for?” Arthur asks and Gods Merlin wants so badly to explain everything. All 1523 years Merlin had endured but he knows...he can feel it in his magic as it prods around the ropes of the universe. The fate holding this Arthur here and now that Arthur will have to remember on his own. He’d hardly believe Merlin if he told him anyway.
“Long enough to stop worrying about trying to make friends. It’s better alone. Safer” Merlin’s hand is warm from where it’s wrapped around his tea. It’s so well rehearsed now that Merlin feels it easily slip off his tongue and he almost believes it himself. Almost believes the loneliness was worth it.
To keep himself safe. To keep the others safe.
“For who...your friends? Or you?”
“Gods, what are you? A philosopher. Does it matter? It’s just better this way. It’s better alone because I may as well be a death omen. Everybody around me. everybody I care about died and some of them were my fault. I was born with Magic. I am Magic and yet...when it mattered most I still lost everything anyways” Merlin rants.
Arthur stays quiet for about 12 seconds before he speaks up.
“I’m so sorry that you’ve lost so many people but everybody needs someone. Even my Dad would agree to that and he hates people. So how about this? How’s about we make a deal? You’ll tell me more about this magic thing and in return, you have me and my friends at your beck and call. They all seemed smitten with you last night anyway. Didn’t give a sh*t to ask about how I was. All they cared to ask was How’s Merlin. Is Merlin ok? Did he need surgery? Make sure you stay with him. Don’t let him wake up alone ” Arthur mimicking his friends.
But there’s no annoyance in his tone. Just happiness.
“I’ll consider it” Merlin offers.
It would be nice to be able to talk to Arthur without constant worry Arthur was considering cutting off his head or tying him to a pyre. Maybe this is why Arthur reincarnated. So they could start fresh. So Merlin could show Arthur magic wasn’t evil. It was the person using it that had to be.
Surprisingly they fall into quiet silence after that. Arthur occasionally types away on his phone as they both sit on the couch, but no matter which way Merlin lays or sits. He can’t get comfortable. Not with the cast wrapped around his wrist.
“Merlin for god's sake. I know you were always a fidget but even this is going a little far! Stop it!” Arthur snaps after about an hour of it.
And Merlin looks up, ducking a little. Arthur for a second. Sounded just like he used to on hunting trips when the floor was cold and wet and seeping through Merlin’s roll. That tired cranky Prince was angry that once again he had missed the 8-point stag and was just as uncomfortable if not more than Merlin due to the chainmail he had to wear.
“I don’t even know what that came from. I am so sorry. I know I can be a bit of an ass sometimes but...your arm...it’s making you uncomfortable isn’t it?” Arthur says suddenly. Snapping out of it, voice softening.
It’s maddening really. How one minute he’s King Arthur of Camelot and then the next his just Arthur with sh*tty expensive taste and a soft voice that has Merlin wanting to curl into his side.
“Of course it is,” Merlin says, holding up the red cast and trying to itch inside it without hurting himself.
“Can’t you magic yourself more comfortable? Is that something you can do?” Arthur asks as easily as if he’d ask Merlin for a crumpet.
“Probably but knowing my luck, I’d miss and turn my bone into fluffy softness instead of the inside of this damn cast. Especially after the tantrum it threw today” Merlin shrugs.
“So you weren’t in control?”
“It’s happened a few times before. I just...it builds up and it’s got nowhere else to go...so it just goes everywhere. Last time I turned someone's car into a horse” Merlin explains.
Arthur just stares at him to see if his joking or not before he puts down that phone.
“I broke my arm when I was 10. My father being the lovely man he was, said I deserved it for acting like a child and I was to deal with it like a man. My Nanny got me to the hospital anyways and got it cast. Same colour as yours and she told me that I wasn’t yet a man. I was allowed to cry and need help and even when I finally was one. It was even more important I asked”
“Well, your Nanny seems wise” Merlin mumbles.
“She was. She also taught me this. Here. It’s ok” Arthur says softly holding out his hands, turning his body so his fully facing Merlin.
Merlin trusts him and holds out his hand only to laugh when Arthur blows gentle cool air down his cast. His touch is so light...like the touch he used to have on Llamrei. Another person Merlin missed. If you could call a horse a person. He missed his Mare as well. Gweiadur. She had been a beautiful horse with a dark brown coat. A noble horse.
“This surely can’t be helpful in any way whatsoever” Merlin snickers.
“I don’t know...made you smile, didn’t it? Seemed like it worked to me” Arthur says, those beautiful blue eyes twinkling. Before he does it again this time down Merlin’s palm.
Merlin wonders if he should move to Antarctica when he feels a zing up his arm when Arthur ever gently presses those plush pink lips to his palm. Feather light and Merlin is blushing as red as his cast.
“There...feel better now?” Arthur asks. Eyes half-lidded. He hadn’t let go of Merlin’s hand. Why hadn’t he let go? Why was he looking like that?
Merlin nods mutely.
“Good. Then my job was successful you might be the all-mighty Nurse here but I know how to make someone feel a little less sh*t about themselves. Years of practice” Arthur states so matter of factually.
Arthur spends the rest of the day with Merlin. It’s like...some part of Arthur needs it too. Needs the closeness and Merlin wonders if his soul is aching at the thought of Merlin too but Merlin keeps it to himself and eventually, he smiles as he’s shoved into the bathroom and once more Arthur undresses him, just to his underwear.
“I’ll uh leave you some dignity shall I? A bath...or just a sponge bath? One involves cling wrap” Arthur chirps.
And Merlin knows he should just take the bath option but there has always been this fantasy of his. That for once. Arthur would help him wash down and would tend to his wounds and then dress him up gently once he was dried. Just like the thousands of times that Merlin had done it for him.
“Sponge might be easier. I can do it” Merlin finds himself saying.
“If you can stay awake long enough. I’m not dragging you back to the hospital cause you brained yourself on the bloody sink after you fell asleep standing up. Dr Gaius might break his oath and kill me!” Arthur reprimands him softly already filling the sink and grabbing a cloth from the open cabinet beside Merlin’s mirror.
Merlin tried to ignore the mirror. Trying to ignore how gaunt he looked. How pale, how sunken his eyes were. He knew it all by now. That those full cheeks were missing leaving behind jagged cliff edges. He can’t remember the last time he had eaten, to be honest. He didn’t hunger like a normal man. Most of all, he tries to avoid the scars on his body.
They had never left him. All it would have taken was Arthur pulling down the Great Dragoon’s robes to see that sting mark on his back to know that Merlin was lying to him at the time. That he was a sorcerer.
“Do you have any soap in here? Here...teeth...brush...” Arthur orders handing him a toothbrush already with toothpaste on it. Merlin does as he's orders mumbling that his soap is homemade and in that beeswax wrapping on the bench.
“You make your own soap? It smells nice. Nicer than most store-bought ones anyway. Do you collect the material yourself?” Arthur says surprised.
“Yeh...allergic to most others” Merlin shrugs once he's washed out his mouth and stuck his toothbrush back into his holder after it's been cleaned.
That’s when Arthur seems to fully look at him. Mouth pulling into that thin line of worry.
“I’m starting to not like this old boss of yours” He mutters. Voice terse.
“Why’s that?” Merlin asks.
“Because what did he do? Throw you into boxing matches? There’s so many scars Merlin” Arthur says softly. His voice drawling softly on Merlin’s name. Reaching out a hand and dragging his hand across Merlin’s chest.
The multitude of scars that littered Merlin’s skin were mostly silver against his skin but those inflicted by magic. Like Nimueh’s fire or the Serket sting on his back were still red, scared over but looking like they had just happened a few years ago.
“I was his protector. Bodyguard you could say...”
“And how many scars did he take for you in return?” Arthur’s voice is bitter as he grabs the wet cloth from the sink wringing it out and rubbing Merlin’s soap over it.
“That wasn’t the point. He was mine to protect” Merlin finds himself getting defensive.
“And you should have been his to protect in return. How many of these were supposed to be for him” Arthur asks, his hands wiping over Merlin’s arms gently. Like he was cleaning down the finest crystal china. Hands sure but gentle.
“As many as it took” Merlin says honestly.
“Then he was a prat for letting you do that on his behalf. He should have been a man and taken them himself”
“I had magic. I can...I can survive what most others can’t and he helped where he could...he saved me a few times too” Merlin insists.
“So that gave him a right!” Arthur snaps and Merlin wonders if Arthur gets his memories back will he feel the same?
“He once...spent two days getting a flower for me. It nearly killed him but he brought it back to me anyway”
“Oh, how thoughtful. A flower. That’s worth it.” Arthur grumbles but despite his anger, none of it is aimed at Merlin. His hands are still gentle as he grabs Merlin’s chin and starts wiping down his face.
“This flower saved my life. It was used to treat a poison I had drunk”
That didn’t seem to ease Arthur’s anger at all. Just made it worse. Muttering under his breath as he turns Merlin around. Hearing the man gasp as he takes in the Serket scar on his back. He had gasped at it the first time he had seen it this morning but had quickly moved on. This time he wasn't moving on.
“What were you paid for this...kindness?” He snaps.
Merlin hesitates for a little too long. Trying to calculate the 4 gold coins he got a month for his services as a Prince’s manservant into today’s value. 8 gold when he was the King's Manservant. Though he’s sure that George had never gotten that much from Uther so...for all he knew Arthur had made up the 8 gold rule as his own way of helping Merlin.
“You weren’t paid were you”
“I was, enough for a drink or two at the bar. Food and board and I had my own horse...I was...his adviser. He’d listen to me. That was worth it enough for me”
“Sit please,” Arthur says gently and Merlin does. Sitting on the closed toilet and he tries not to blush when Arthur kneels in front of him. Not caring if he was getting Turnbull and Asser trousers dirty on Merlin’s bathroom floor as he wipes down Merlin’s legs.
“Where is he now? Your boss?” Arthur asks.
“Why going to give him a piece of your mind?” Merlin asks in return.
“Maybe,” Arthur says sincerely.
“Well, he's dead. So...I failed to protect him. I failed him...”
And for the second time that day, Arthur Pendragon pulls him into a hug. It’s one of those warm comforting ones and Merlin clutches to his shirt and tries so hard not to cry.
Because Arthur was here. He was right in front of him, even if he was a little different but maybe that was a good thing. He was still a royal prat when he wanted to be but the fact...that Merlin could hug him now.
Maybe that alone was worth it.
“Are you sure you're really Arthur Pendragon?” Merlin whispers.
“Hmm pretty sure. Come on let’s get you dressed and into bed. You’re exhausted”
Arthur dresses Merlin in bedclothes and the bloody git even tucks him in. As if he has any right to be so soft and caring. What had changed this time around...why was he so soft this time around? Maybe he had swapped personalities with Lance in the reincarnation process.
“Arthur...” Merlin whispers when Arthur turns off the light and he knows the man must be just as exhausted and he must want to shower and get out of those clothes but Merlin doesn’t want to wake up tomorrow and let this all have been some dream.
“Hmm,” Arthur says softly.
“Would I be selfish to ask if you could stay for a little while longer? Just till I fall asleep?” Merlin asks. His voice is barely there. A whisper but Arthur hears him all the same.
“Well you’re gonna have to move over I always sleep on the left” He comments and there he is. Merlin’s Arthur and Merlin accommodates the man.
Arthur kicks off his shoes and he’s groaning as he lays on Merlin’s bed.
“Oh sh*t. We haven’t eaten today” Arthur says just as Merlin’s about to nod off and Merlin can’t help but laugh.
“Don’t worry Sire. I’m sure one night of food won’t make you starve” He jests, jabbing Arthur in the side gently with his elbow.
“I’m fitting fit thank you!” Arthur says offended.
It seems some things never change.
When Merlin doesn’t stop giggling, the street light casting through his curtains is cut off by Arthur learning over him. One hand pressed down beside Merlin’s head. His legs caged in Merlin’s hips.
“Be lucky you're injured” Arthur murmurs but there’s no threat there.
They’re breathing the same air and Merlin swallows slightly. Feeling so small under Arthur. He was taller than the Blond but Arthur had just always been bigger. He’d take up the entire room without even trying. It was just how he worked.
“Or what?”
“Or I’d show you how fitting fit I really am”
Merlin has a distinct memory of being used as the training dummy for the knights but with the way that Arthur’s looking at him. The hunger in his eyes, the slightly parted lips. The...Oh.
“OH” Merlin squeaks.
“Oh,” Arthur repeats. Voice somehow drops further still and Merlin gulps as Arthur gently wraps a hand through Merlin’s curls.
This kiss isn’t harsh at all. It’s soft and sweet and while it doesn’t last that long. He feels like time stopped forever.
“Your eyes flash gold by the way. When you kiss someone” Arthur whispers when he pulls away, laying back beside Merlin like he hadn’t just broken Merlin’s brain in half.
“Here...let me show you something,” Merlin says, all his co*cksureness from the night before gone after Arthur had done nothing but look after him today. He hadn’t had someone take care of him in a long time.
Merlin raises his hand and two knights appear in a jousting ring. Horses made of fire as they stamp their feet. Waiting for their rider’s orders.
Merlin finally lets them charge each other and he smiles at the sight. Ok...maybe as time had gone on. He had missed jousting and tourneys. He had missed watching Arthur just go feral. Completely unabashed as he stood victorious on the battlefield. Without meaning to.
An entire slew of knights appear. A pair of them wrestling...Gwaine and Percival fight over the last bread roll at camp. Arthur pulled off his helmet to grin at Merlin after he had won his latest jousting match before putting it back and returning to Llamrei. Leon and Elyan rode their horses through forests that Merlin missed more than anything. And Lancelot, riding for a griffin. Spear in hand. His knights...his family. Made of fire before him until finally, sleep takes him.
And one by one they flicker out as Merlin’s hand falls to the bed. Falling asleep was easy with Arthur in his bed.
